What should I do?

“It’s good to strive for someone.”

“You don’t need a man to be happy.”

“You have no idea what you’re missing if you don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Anyone who doesn’t like you is missing out on a once in a life time girl.”

I’ve heard all these my entire life. Never once had they ever really sunk in as anything other then passing comments.

Then one day at school I came across him. Three years older, taller, smarter, buffer. Hell he was like one of those male angels on earth even. Then I came across his personality.

He’s an asshole, he’s a jerk, he’s loud(I hate loud people), he seems like a player, and like every guy in high school he has a dirty mind.

He seemed to me like he had the physical appearance of everything a girl could want, but the personality from hell.

And yet, knowing that because he was older, I was younger, he was a jerk, I was shy, he was desirable, and I was cast aside because of how I look.

And I’ve never thought I’d ever like guys like that because of what they did to me in the past.

But for the longest time now I’ve been picturing our life together in the future. You know dating, moving in together, married life. . . . . . sorta.

He graduated, and I’ll be in tenth grade next year.

What I’m wondering from you guys is, should I move on and let whatever happen happen? Or should I continue to hold hope that he’s thinking about me too(Basically I just wanna try that poll thingy, but I need a good answer too, thanks)?


The Bad Aspects of my Life


Okay, umm. I’ve been thinking a lot today, and I figured since I haven’t posted anything for a while I would now.

Earlier today, as I was making dinner, my mom and brother were arguing. So, as I was getting sick of it I came out and slapped my brother on the back(They were fighting because my brother wouldn’t respond and he was quiet so my mom wanted him to yell and he refused). He started to cry, and I didn’t even hit him that hard. I didn’t feel bad about making him cry, I know that sounds really bad but it’s true.

I think I know why I am the way I am, and I’d like to share it with you guys and get all this stuff I’ve kept pent up for a really long time off my chest. I don’t care if you guys judge me or not. I was made the way I am now, and no one can change it.

It all really started when I was about three(Yes, I know a lot of stupid stories start this way but please bear with me here) I don’t remember it at all really, but I still have the scar on my right cheek from where they hit me. We(Me, my mom, my dad, my brother, and my sister) lived in Salmonarm. It’s a nice little town with friendly people, nice neighbours, ect. A guy who was about sixteen or so, he’d bully me. It wasn’t just me though. Apparently he’d pull down my and other kid’s pants and put grass in them(Imagine of some were allergic). And then one day me, my sister, and a couple others were playing down near where we lived. The guy, somehow, got a willow tree twig, branch, thingy that has all the leaves on it and droops down. He hit me with it. It was deep enough for me to still have the scar. He did it to another kid too. So we ran home. My mom tried to clean my face, and I guess my dad got home early. He saw that the cut was still oozing. And he went back outside and over heard the guy telling my sister, as he had a hockey stick in hand, if she told our dad he’d kill her. My dad grabbed him off his bike by his collar and held him so his feet couldn’t touch the ground. He told him if he ever touched one of his kids again he’d kill him. He dropped him and the kid ran home. He got his parents to call the police, and an officer showed up at our door. They didn’t give my dad enough time to show them my face. My mom said if they did it’d of been a completely different story. So my dad was put in court, he didn’t get any charges because he told it like it was. Growing up I guess I really hated myself because in the years it was still fresh and when it got really cold it would turn purple. But I have one question here, what the hell kind of sixteen-year-old picks on three, four, five, six or so year-old’s? And how many sixteen-year-old’s threaten a nine-year-old? I thought they were supposed to be becoming men about that age.

I think I was about five or six when this next part happened. I think we were living in Calgary, I’m not sure. But I know we lived right next to a play ground, and near a family friend of ours(her son was the closest thing I ever had to an older brother figure). There were two bouts about my age, I never really knew. And they hated me. I remember really only one of them by name. He was Jesse, he was ginger with freckles, he didn’t have any problem with me. How do I know? You may be asking. One day I walked the short distance(30 or so seconds) to the park and found him sitting there with one of those toy guns(You know those ones with the red cap like things that let out  bang). I was apprehensive, but he didn’t do anything to do or indicate that he had anything against me. So I figured it was the other kid(I wish I could remember his name!). He was taller then Jesse, I think he was blond, he hated me. I remember one day Karen, Katlin, and Chris(Family friends) were over. My sister and Kaitlen were doing I-don’t-know-what-nor-did-I-care. I didn’t know where my brother was. But I remembered me and Chris were out on my front lawn, don’t remember doing what. But then Jesse and what’s-his-face came up, on the other side of the street, and started chucking sticks at us. Chris threw some back at them. I looked up at him wondering if I could ever be as brave as he was.

From ages seven to I believe ten I was bullied horribly by multiple assholes. Brydon Gleag(sp?), Jake Calagaruse(sp?), Ian Suic(sp?),  Justin Robertson(sp?), Jadin LaBanc(sp?), Teana(Teanny, whatever the hell that bitch wants to go by) Calagaruse(sp?), and a handful of others who’s names I do not know. They things they did may not seem bad to you, but they still haunt me. Brydon bullied me because, in his opinion, I was too tall(I’m fifteen and somewhere between 5,7″ and 5,10″ and I have a lot of people towering over me now, and are my hight too)! He’d throw pinecones at me as I was walking home from school with my little brother, he’d make me cry. I honesty thought I was a freak. Jaden just plain didn’t like me for some reason, but then again she was like a frienemy to me one day we’d be okay the next she’d want to take my head off. Teana. . . . . . I blocked out what she did, but not a day went by that if she talked to me I would go home crying. I tried to do something about it by asking my older sister and her friends if they could talk to her(She had a lot of guy friends and I figured a little intimidation could work), she made me look like a liar. I don’t ever remember what she did, I had to block it out. Thanks to her I stopped asking and telling when people hurt me. I was about ten when I started showing signs of puberty(No, nothing like a period. But my hormones kicked in). It was bout here that Jake, Ian, and Justin came in. At the time we didn’t know, but I inherited P.C.O.S.(polycystic ovary syndrome). Basically what it is, is in my FEMALE body I have a higher count of MALE hormones then what the norm is. It causes weight gain, and it’s hard to lose weight, and I have thicker , more noticeable, and a hell of a lot more hair everywhere then most girls should. And it makes me feel horrible. Well, these guys picked up on it and started teasing me about it. It got worse when we went into middle school and I started puberty. They would make indications with their pointer fingers as they brought it across their top lips and they’d say things like “Gelet Fushion for men, or women.” and “Gellet the best a man or woman can get.” They’d throw rocks at me, they brought my, already suffering, self esteam down a lot. Then Brydon came back and started picking at that too.

It got worse when others noticed too. Dominic Carter(sp?), Geroge Garsia-Lopez(sp?), Ryan Martel(sp?), Ryan Benzy(sp?), and a hand full of others I don’t know. They pointed it out, they made me feel like I’d never belong anywhere. and for the longest of times, I believed them. I never thought I could be or do anything other then what was expected. I hated myself. It didn’t help that my friends were fighting and using me as a middle man, and that my grandmother died when I was in the sixth grade.

Things have gotten better, but it wasn’t until a few years or so ago that I realized something. I was depressed. From about age eight to ten, I became depressed of everything that had happened. And from eight until I was about eleven or so, I realized I was suicidal. I never cut, I never made any indication that I was in anyway, shape, or form depressed, let alone suicidal.

I think I’m still slightly depressed, but not as much as I used to be. I also came to the realization that I can never hate anyone that made fun of me, or put me in a position that made me wish for my life to end. I did, however, become philophobic. It’s the fear of falling in love. I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with a man and he’s going to hurt me and make me want to die again. But from all that I became bi as well. My mom says it’s just a phase, and I hate it. I’m the way I am for a reason. and it’s thanks to those assholes.

Now in my opinion all men are assholes. I’m sorry if you are literally the nicest guy in the world. I know not all guys are the same, but when you grow up see, hearing, and watching boys pick on you for things you can’t control and don’t understand. wouldn’t that make you hate them too?

When they started bugging me about my hair, I refused any treatment for it my mom offered. I still had this hope that I was pretty and I didn’t want to change it. From a young age I always thought I was pretty. But after everything they said, I can never look at myself like that again. And I began to see all those things at women recognize about themselves that they don’t like. I hated myself. I hated who I was. I hated everyone and I wanted them to die.

I wanted to be left alone for hours on end just to sit by myself and not have to think about anyone or anything. I wanted nothing. I wanted it all to end and for me to feel nothing. I became so numb that physical pain wasn’t as sharp anymore.

I still wanna kill myself. I still wanna die. I still want to cry my eyes out about what happened all those years ago. But I can’t.

People like Amanda Todd, and others who had killed themselves from bullying, they didn’t realize what I did.

If you kill yourself because of things they do to you, they win. They had the power over you, and they have the power to do it again. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I’d rather of killed them then died.

And eventually I got to high school. They say it’s supposed to be four years of hell. I’ve been in it one year, and it’s been the kindest to me out of everything. Maybe it’s because I’ve already gone through seven years of hell.

I came to that school district in the second grade, I’m heading into tenth now. And in my second year of high school I’ll be going to a different one. We moved one town over, and me and my bother stayed in that system until this year when he wanted to transfer. I decided to transfer too. I was done with the shit.

All those familiar faces I’ve grown to know and recognize over the years, I’m tired of. I don’t want to look at ever direction and see the people who were there that watched as I had pain inflicted on me. Who at times would stand there and not do anything. It’s not those who hurt me that I hate, it’s the people who saw, they heard, they were within reach, and they did nothing. They piss me off the most.

I’m going to be going to a different high school now. Start things fresh. I’m hoping this is what I need to forget about it all.

A lot of people may think I’m strong or something, and in truth, I’m not. I’m probably more venerable then a baby that’s unguarded.

I keep such high, thick walls up. I keep people out, I push them away. I’m still hurting from things so many years ago. I still wanna kill myself. I don’t want people to care about me, but my family will always. I think I might just be waiting for them to cast me aside and forget about me. That’s what I need. But I don’t want them too. I have this thing with abandonment, I don’t wanna think about it. But I don’t want them to care. But if they don’t care who will?

No one.

I feel better. Thank you to whoever finished this. I don’t care what you think about it. I just needed to vent. . . . . .

You know what would be funny? If all the people who ever bullied me read this, and their jaws dropped to the floor. lol.

I think it’d be funny.

Assholes! Bitches! People who need t push others down to feel better about yourselves!

I don’t hate you. I can’t. I want to. But I can’t.

I have a good home. I have friends, to some degree. I know what love is. And I am accepted the way I am. Yes, I’m thought of as strange, yes, I agree. But I am who I am. I can’t apologise for that.

and as cheesy as it may sound, to everyone who wants their life to end, who’s sick of the shit their going through, who cries themselves to sleep at night. You aren’t alone. I love you. You are you. And you are perfect , imperfect just the way you are. You’re better then those who hurt others. You’re there for those you love when they need you. And I know life is hard, and I can’t exactly speak only being 15, but you will find your path. You will walk it. And then one day when you’re happily married, and have the job of your dreams in a beach side house, with kids(if you want them), and a dog(sorry if your allergic or something), and as your reading the morning paper on your day off watching you beautiful/handsome spouse you’ll look down and see a familiar face of the person who wanted you to kill yourself and they over dosed on drugs.

You are you, and you better be damn happy about it. You’ll get through. Somehow. But know this, you are, have been, and always will be better then they are. And you are loved.

Rain in the Forest Part 16


Crysalys was back bathing in the little lake in the clearing, Myrth and Colis still pestering her about everything.

“I still don’t see what you see in him.” Colis nearly hissed as she scrubbed.

“That’s my business, isn’t it.” She said nearly sneering at him, “And I want you to stop asking.”

“Give me a good reason why he makes a better husband then me and I will.” Colis offered.

She sighed and ran a soaked hand through her hair, “He’s different then the rest of the men.” She said.

“Can you be specific?” He asked.

She sighed again trying to find words, “Say I did accept you as my husband, Colis.” She said, “You’d want kids right away. I don’t. I want to wait, and so does he. He doesn’t want to have them hate each other like we hated each other in the beginning. He’d never want anything like that to happen again. And given the power he’ll have, it wont go to his head. I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?” He snarled.

“I just don’t okay.” She said glaring at him, “When you’re bitten, it’s hard to explain anything unless the person you’re explaining to has been bitten too. And just by looking at you, Colis, you have not been bitten.”

“You love him.” Myrth said not looking up from the spell book he was reading, “That’s all that maters.”

“Don’t you care about this?” Colis hissed at him.

He shrugged, “If Crysalys is happy with him, I’ll support her in it. But if I find out he’s hurt her in anyway, I’m not going to hesitate to kill that son of a bitch.”

“He won’t hurt me.” Crysalys said quietly, “He’s been bitten worse then I have, and I’ve been bit pretty bad.”

They laughed at her honesty.

“You think of anything just yet?” Myrth asked finally looking up to see her back. It was covered by her long dark hair, and as soon as it hit the water it pooled out around her like a web.

“Sorta.” She admitted, “But I’m not sure.”

He whistled, “If you aren’t sure, we should be terrified.”

She shrugged and stared at her reflection in the water.

“I was thinking of heading down to the town, going to see Joseph and Trevor and telling them.” She said.

“Telling them what?” Colis asked.

She looked back at them, “I’m pregnant.”

They were shocked, yes, they had seen it coming, but just to hear her say it was shocking.

“I told mama everything last night.” She admitted, “Everything. She cried, but she understood. And she told me I was pregnant with a gunners baby and that I better make my move fast before I show and people start asking questions.”

“We’ll head down there to talk with them, won’t we, Colis?” Myrth said to reassure his friend.

“You guys don’t have to.” She told them.

“We want to.” He said, Colis smiled too.

“I say we head back to the cave, let everyone know what we’re going to do, and head out in the morning.” She said.

“Get out.” Myrth told her.

She sighed but did as he said.

Scar, Silver, and Romona were at the cave, they decided to leave them there today to rest.

When Crysalys was fully dressed and they started heading back to the cave, she paused for a minute and her ears perked.

“Get down!” She yelled to Myrth and Colis who were instantly on the ground at her command.

She reached for her whip, as firing came out of the far end of the forest.

Myrth concentrated really hard, his specialty was raising dead, but he managed to put up a force field to allow them to escape.

As they were almost on the other side, pain shot through Crysalys she looked down to see something that looked so much like a humming bird stuck in her stomach. She collapsed.

“Run!” She ordered when they stopped, “Run!”

They did as they were told and headed right back to the cave for help. Crysalys blacked out on the grass as gunners surrounded her.

“I can’t believe you!” Trevor yelled to his father as he was tied down in a chair in the middle of a diagram one of the alchemists’ just finished drawing.

“Witnesses have heard everything you told, Jub.” Joseph told him, “You need to be punished, and so does she.”

“You’ll never find her.” He hissed, “She’s too smart, fast, and keen. She’ll have you out numbered and outsmarted in a matter of minutes.”

“Not true.” He told him son, “According to, Jub there’s a small lake a bout two and a half miles in the forest that she goes to regularly to bath. I have our sharpest gunners placed around that place in such a way she’ll never detect them.”

“She’s too keen for it.” He argued.

“Not if they’re covered in mud and dirt.” He smirked.

Trevor gritted his teeth, he was joking, right? He had to be. He’d felt the strength of the beast princess first hand, and if he’d been anyone other then him he’d be dead.

There was a knock at the giant double doors.

“Come in.” Joseph barked.

“Sir.” A gunner said entering, “They have just brought in the beast princess and are placing her in the dungeon as instructed.”

He smirked, “See to it you use strong chains.” He told him.

“Yes, sir.” He said and left.

Trevor was glaring all sorts of daggers into his father.

“I think I’ll go down and see our little princess after she wakes up.” He told his son, “After all it’s been, oh, I’d say five or so years. I’d like to see how she’s grown.”

“I hate you.” Trevor hissed, “You can’t do this.”

He only chuckled, “Can’t I?”

And he left the room leaving his son there, trying not to cry.

In the forest Myrth and Colis had just arrived back to the cave completely out of breath.

“What happened?” Issa asked noticing Crysalys wasn’t with them, “Another game of cat and mice?”

They shook their heads.

“The gunners.” Colis said.

“They took her.” Myrth finished.

Everyone who was in ear shot came directly over to hear what they had to say.

“She was bathing in the lake.” Myrth started, “Like always, we were trying to figure out a better way to end the war.”

“She got out.” Colis continued, “After she was dressed and we started heading back here, there were gun shots.”

“We didn’t even make it out of the clearing before they shot.” Myrth said.

“Myrth put up a barrier so we could escape, there were too many for us to take on.” Colis added.

“But something got her that made her collapse.” Myrth said, “She told us to run, and we did.”

“We don’t know what happened, but I guess they took her back to the town.” Colis finished.

Garther slammed Myrth to nearest cave wall.

“What the hell were you thinking, boy!?” He yelled, “You never think, do you!? Now we lost our only hope! What do you have to say for yourself!?”

Normally Myrth would have just taken whatever his father would of said, this time it was different.

He grabbed his father, turned him around, and pinned him to the wall.

“Stop yelling at me like I’m a child.” He hissed, “I can fix this. I can help her. I can make sure she’s okay. And it’s all thanks to that mistake we did when we were kids. So why don’t you stop for a few minutes think about what you’re going to say before you tell me I mess up with the life of my best friend. I am not useless.”

He pushed back and went and sat down at the fire where Issa and Lilly were. He closed his eyes and concentrated.

Crysalys was just waking up in the dungeon. It was dark and damp. When she realized that she was no longer in the grassy field she snapped completely awake.

Looking around there was a stone wall, straw, a low barrel presumably for water or wast or something, and a few sets of empty chains. She was in a set.

They dug into her wrists and ankles.

It didn’t look like there was anyone around. She felt a tingle in her and then she could hear Myrth’s voice.

“Crysalys, are you there?” He asked.

“I’m here, Myrth.” She assured, “I’m alright. What happened?”

“Colis and I went back to the cave and told everyone what we knew. Where are you?” He asked.

“A dungeon in the town somewhere.” She answered, “I’ll find my way out, don’t worry.”

“Worry?” He asked, “You’re in a dungeon, in the town, full of gunners, who probably have you on death row right now, and I’m ‘worried’. No, Crys. I’m freaking out right now!”

“Well, don’t freak out.” She told him, “I’ll find a way out of this, just don’t do anything stupid.”

“Anything you want me to tell everyone?” He asked.

“Don’t do anything stupid, and the baby’s alright.” She told him.

“Will do.” He said, “I’ll figure this out.”

“I hear someone coming, I gotta go.” She said.

“Take care for now, Crys. I’ll let you know when something happens.”

“It’s better if I contact you.” She said.

Crysalys shut her eyes tight, she couldn’t hear Myrth’s voice anymore. But she could hear the cell being unlocked.

In stepped a man she didn’t want to see.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, princess?” Joseph smirked at her.

She didn’t say anything, she kept a board, tired, uninterested look on her face.

He frowned lightly.

“You’ve grown up.” He told her, “You look much more like the princess I’ve read so much about.”

She still didn’t reply.

“According to my resources, you and my son have been going off and fooling around together, and now, supposedly, you’re pregnant. Am I correct?” He asked.

She still didn’t reply which pissed him off even more.

“What if I told you, you’re little boy toy was being torchered in here somewhere?” He asked leaning in close.

“What if I told you, I’d kill you if got any closer?” She finally replied low and darkly.

He grinned and leaned back.

“Are you?” He asked.

“Am I what?” She hissed.

“Pregnant with my son’s love child?” He asked.

She shrugged, “I don’t know, why don’t you send a doctor in here and check me out?”

It was her turn to grin as his faded.

“You have some tong for a woman.” He told her.

“You have some guts for a bawling, machine dependant, weakling of a coward.” She countered.

“I will make you eat those words.” He hissed.

Crysalys leaned towards him as far as the chains would let her.

“I would love to see you try.” She whispered and then moved back against the wall.

She started cackling evilly.

He sent a fist flying through the air towards her cheek, but she was quicker and bit his hand hard enough to break a bone(which she did).

He howled in agony as her sharp teeth set into his hand. She was instantly in a fighting mood tasting blood.

She ungripped her teeth from his left hand and licked her lips, enjoying the salty, metal like tasting liquid.

“Demon child.” He hissed at her.

“Bawling, machine dependent, weakling of a coward.” She repeated.

He raised his right hand ready to hit her again.

“Joseph, that is enough.” Melody called behind him.

“What are you doing down here?” He demanded.

“You know even in our savage society, we still respect out women to no degree.” She whispered to him before bursting out laughing.

“I wish to talk to her.” He told her husband, “Go up and see, Trevor.”

He grumbled as he left, wanting to entarigate such a body more.

Both women waited until they couldn’t hear the footsteps of the head before Melody spoke.

“Is it true that you are pregnant and my son is the father?” Asked.

“This is unfair.” Crysalys sighed, “You’re so much like my mama how do you expect me not to tell you the truth?”

She smiled, “That’s all I ever asked from my children.” She said.

“So what if I am?” She almost hissed, “We love each other and were planing to stop the war to have children.”

“I want you to marry my son.” She told her.

Crysalys’s ears perked up hearing this.

“Is this some kind of joke?” She asked, “If it is let me know now, I’ll laugh.”

“It’s not a joke.” Melody told her, “You’re a strong, young woman and I know that’s exactly what he needs. And I don’t the war to happen anymore, anymore then you do.”

“I don’t think I can trust you.” She told her.

“I don’t blame you.” She said, “I’m hesitant standing this close to a living breathing beast princess. You’re more menacing then the legends said.”

She shrugged, “That’ll happen to a person after many fights, a few scars, and a few cracks of your own whip on your back.”

“You were punished when you first bit my son, weren’t you?” She asked.

Crysalys nodded, “No on understood I was bitten, other then someone else who was bitten.”

“Who got them to stop?” She asked.

“Technically I did.” She answered, “One of the healers told them that I was bit.”

“You love my son?” She asked.

“With ever last fiber of my being.” She answered without hesitation.

Melody smiled, “What do you call your mother?”

Crysalys looked at the older woman weird a moment then replied, “Mama.”

She smiled, “Start calling me mom.”

Crysalys was even more take back. And even more shocked when she saw what was in the sack she had with her.

“I believe these are yours.” She told her.

“Why are you helping me?” She asked.

Melody shrugged, “I’ve always dreamed of meeting the beast princess.” She admitted, “And I would do anything to make this fighting end. You love, Trevor, and he loves you. And I don’t want this war anymore, and neither do either of you. Stop this war, and take care of both my son and my grand child.”

“Mom.” She smiled, “I can’t make a promise.”

“I know.” Melody replied, “Take me as your hostage and I’ll guide you to, Trevor.”

“I couldn’t.” She admitted.

“You’re name is, Crystal right?” She asked.

“Crysalys.” She corrected.

She smiled, “A lovely name.” She said, “It’s the only way to get you out of here. I have a feeling the beast masters and their allies will be coming here shortly to rescue you.”

Melody took out a key and slowly unlocked each of the chains, starting with her legs.

When she was free, she realized that Crysalys was bleeding at her wrist, but Crysalys didn’t seem to mind as she wound up her whip and placed it back on it’s rightful place on her hip. She put her sword back in it’s holster and on her other hip.

“Forgive me if I’m a little rough, mom.” Crysalys said uneasily.

“Don’t worry about it.” She told her.

Crysalys grabbed her right wrist and twisted it behind her back and lightly and gently as she could after she drew her sword. She wrapped her left arm around her neck and held her sword to her throught.

“Are you alright like this?” She asked.

Melody nodded best she could with the sword.

“I can’t move it any further away,” Crysalys apologised, “It wouldn’t look real.”

“I understand.” She assured.

“Thank you.” Crysalys muttered.

“Just take of yourself through this, and him.” She begged.

“I can’t make a promise.” She said and forced her to walk.

Crysalys tried her best to make it look believable while not hurting, Melody.

“Let us through, or she dies.” She hissed to the guards.

Melody gave pleading looks to all of the guards, and they let her through.

“Shoot from behind, and I’ll bring her with me.” She snarled as they passed them.

“How much further?” She asked Melody after a while.

“Up this set of stairs of the left, straight to the giant double doors.” She told her.

“Thank you.” She whispered again.

They walked through the double doors and she glared at the guards.

When they got in, she let go of Melody, spun around and blocked the door with one of the spears from the suites of armor on either side of the door. She spun around again and used her whip to knock the gun out of Joseph’s hand, then took four bone knives out from under her belt and tossed them over at him pinning him deep into the wall.

She looked and saw Trevor smiling at her tied to a chair in the middle of a diagram. She started towards him.

“Don’t, Crysalys.” Melody told her, “That circle will vaporize you.”

“Can I get him out?” She asked.

“Human flesh can’t go in.” She told her.

“Melody.” Joseph hissed, “Worthless, bit-

He was cut off by Crysalys cracking her whip across his face.

“Even savages respect their women.” She told him again, “And this,” She cracked her whip on his face again, “If for hurting, Trevor.”

She went up to the edge of the circle and put her finger tips out, it almost stung her and she pulled back. She examined her black finger tips.

“You said humans can’t enter?” She asked Melody, “Can they exit?”

She nodded.

Crysalys stepped back a couple steps and stretched her whip out in her hands.

“This is going to hurt me more then it will you.” She told Trevor, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said.

Crysalys sent her whip into the circle, it was made of animal hide, when it was wrapped around one of the legs of the chair he was sitting on, she pulled him out.

When Trevor was out he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I thought they killed you.” He said trying not to cry as Crysalys cut the ropes.

“It’ll take more then a tranquilizer to keep me down.” She said and cut the rope holding his arms.

When he was freed they embraced each other tightly.

“Trevor, there’s something I need to tell you.” She admitted, “I’m-

He cut her off by a soft kiss on the lips.

“I know.” He said, “And if we can stop this we’ll marry.”

“And we’ll live in a little house on the outskirts of the town, close to the forest and have a lot of kids.” She suggested.

“And they’ll be taught everyone is equal, and which ever trade they chose they will have.” He added, “We won’t change it.”

“I want a lot of boys.” She told him.

“I want at least one girl.” He told her.

“Yes.” She said, “One little girl, the youngest. and we’ll give her eight older brothers.”

“Perfect.” Trevor said and kissed her again.

Crysalys about to add more when she heard Myrth’s voice.

Trevor was concerned when her eyes started glowing a bright green colour.

“Crysalys!” Myrth called.

“What?” She asked.

“We’re on our way to town. We’re coming to save you.” He told her.

“IDIOT!!!” She yelled at him, “I don’t need saving, I need you to stop so we don’t get in any deeper with this war!”

“It’s a little hard to stop now.” He told her.

“How far are you?”

About a mile or so.” He said.

“I’ll meet you at the front gate.” She said, “Don’t do anything else until I get there!”

Her eyes went back to normal.

“What happened?” Trevor asked.

“They’re coming.” She told him, “They’re coming to ‘save’ me. We’ll have to dream later.”

“We have to stop the rest of the town too.” He said, “They’re going to be heading out since you were in the dungeons.”

Crysalys bit her lip hard.

“Meet me at the front gate.” She told him, “They’re about a mile or so off, I’ll stop them from getting in.”

“What about our side?” Trevor asked.

“That’s where you come in.” She told him, “You stop them from getting out.”

“And by doing that?” He asked.

“When both sides are at the the gate we tell them we will never have to fight anymore, we’ll be at peace, and the ancient peace treaty is in effect.” She explained, “We don’t have time to waste.”

“I love you.” Trevor told her and kissed her again.

“I love you too, but why now?” She asked.

“In case we both die.” He explained.

She nodded, kissed him quickly and wound up her whip again and jumped out the window.

Trevor watched her enviously, he just wanted to hold her and dream, but they couldn’t until this nightmare was over.

Crysalys jumped down the smaller roofs until she was on the stone streets, she looked left and right and closed her eyes, her instincts told her to go left. They never let her down.

She bolted left, her bare feet slapping on the stone floor. She didn’t know which way she was going, but she had an idea.

She saw up ahead a giant gate way, that was the entrance to the town. She stopped when she was under the arc, only a few moments away were the beast masters and their companions.

She had made it just in time. She put her arms out to attempt to stop them from entering, right outside the gate they did.

“I will not allow you to enter this town.” She yelled to all of them.

“And why not?” One of them yelled back.

“We aren’t going to fight anymore.” She told them, “We’ll have peace. We have a treaty in act right now.”

“Just because you’re pregnant with the head’s son’s child doesn’t make us at peace.” Garther hissed.

“No.” She stated, not surprised that anyone else knew her secret, “We’re at peace because neither side is going to fight anymore. I won’t let any of you. And he won’t let any of his side. We’re going to be at peace because that treaty from when this stupid war began is in effect. The son of the head, and the beast princess are to wed and have a healthy child. And we are.”

“And if we refuse to listen to it?” Someone else asked.

She pulled out her whip and stretched it out, “I’ll fight every last one of you off myself if I have to.” He threatened.

“There they are!” Someone yelled behind Crysalys, she didn’t have to turn to know it was the towns people.

“Crys.” Colis said stepping forward, “If we don’t-

“I don’t care!” She yelled, “I’m not going to let this go on anymore. I won’t let it.”

“Get them!” The crowd cheered.

“I don’t want this war anymore.” She whispered, “Just let it stop.”

The crowd behind her was suddenly silenced, out of the corner of her eye she saw Trevor standing behind her.

“I’m taking over the position of head, as of today.” He yelled to the crowd.

“Not possible!” Someone in that crowd yelled, “The war has to be over or the old head has to be dead!”

“The war is over!” He yelled, “Didn’t you hear the lady? There isn’t going to be anymore fighting between the two sides anymore.”

“You can’t decide that!” Another yelled.

“I just did.” He hissed.

“And if we refuse?” Another asked.

Trevor pulled out a gun and pointed it to the crowd, “I’ll kill you.” He threatened.

“You’re a great head for your first day you know that.” Crysalys commented, “You don’t go around and threaten to kill people, especially your own.”

“You did the exact same thing.” He defended.

“No, I threatened to fight them to keep them back. I made no indication of killing.” She explained.

He sighed, “Do you want this to end or not?” He asked her.

“More then I want to marry you and have kids.” She said, “But the stupid adults and their stupid pride.”

“If you knew what we went through,” Garther began.

“What you went through, would be the same thing we went through.” Crysalys countered, “If not worse. Do you really want your grand children growing up the same way you did? The same way we did? Jesus Christ, Garther, just because you know one way to do things doesn’t mean there isn’t a few other ways! We’re tired of it. Don’t you ever look around and see all those who have fallen? All the unnecessary blood shed? We don’t need it. We don’t need to kill unnecessarily anymore. We don’t need the next generation growing up the same way. We can change it for them.”

Crysalys paused and placed a hand on her stomach, “If you don’t want to then fine, but I won’t cry when they put you under because you were too arrogant to hear another’s words.”

“She’s right.” Trevor spoke to the gunners, “I know we all feel differently about the war, about our raising, about everything really. But I know at least most of want it to end. For your young kids at home, for your grand kids, for the new life you wished you’d of had. It happened so long ago, who actually remembers all the details as to why we’re fighting?”

Everyone was quiet for a while.

“Does anyone even want to fight the other side?” Crysalys asked everyone, “I don’t.”

Everyone was silent again.

“Grab them!” Everyone turned to see Joseph stalking down the street with a firm hold on Melody. Her arms were bound behind her back.

“Get them!” He yelled again pointing at Trevor and Crysalys.

Crysalys growled and cracked her whip so it landed around Melody and pulled her over to them, catching her before she could hit the ground.

“Are you alright?” She asked as she unraveled her whip.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” She assured.

“Mom, what did he do?” Trevor asked.

“Your father has a temper.” She said as Crysalys cut the ropes binding her hands, “I’m used to it.”

“You call us savages.” Garther sneered, “We at least treat our women with respect.”

“And do they treat their men with respect?” He hissed, “Because your little princess sure didn’t.”

“You’re bleeding.” Crysalys told Melody, “Is there a healer around?”

“I always knew I’d be needed.” Lilly said and stepped out of the crowd.

“Mama.” She smiled.

Lilly knelt down next to Melody and took her wrists.

“So, you’re this young girl’s mother?” She asked.

Lilly nodded, “And I suppose you’re the gentleman’s mother?”

Melody nodded, “I suppose we’ll be in-laws soon.”

“It looks that way.” She giggled and began to heal her wrists.

“Women should know their place under their men.” Joseph yelled.

“Men get respect only if they deserve it.” Tia told him, “If you deserve it I’d rather be married to a brawler.”

“Every man deserves respect!” He shouted.

“Tell me then.” Crysalys said stepping in front of Trevor to get a little closer to Joseph, “What ‘man’ beats up on a woman? What ‘man’ punishes his only son for being curious? What kind of ‘man’ is so dense he can’t accept a little help when everyone knows he needs it? And what ‘man’, if that’s what you can call yourself, checks out a girl not even half his age, who’s pregnant with his son’s child, in a dungeon, because he was scared of her?”

“He did what to you?” Trevor asked spinning her around.

“I’ve been at the point where I know a lot of men are looking at me and wish to be with me. He was giving me one of those looks.” She explained.

Trevor held, Crysalys close as he glared at him father.

“My freedom, my happiness, and now my love?” He exclaimed, “What the hell is left for you to take?” He demanded.

“You’re life.” He snarled.

A loud bang was heard, and both Trevor and Crysalys dropped to the ground.

<<<—Four Years Later—>>>

“Hey.” Trevor laughed and caught his eldest son as they were playing, “Don’t hit people, Koi.”

“He started it.” Koi whined pointing to his younger brother, Adam.

“Naw uw.” Adam defended.

“I don’t care who started it.” He told them, “I want you both to apologise.”


Both boys pointed to the other and bother were cut off by their father.

“Do want to argue this out with your mother present?” He asked.

Both boys froze. While they loved their mother very much, if they had to chose between one or the other they’d of prefered it be their dad. Their mother wasn’t all that strict, but when it came to fights they would of rather been mauled by thirty bears, have their insides eaten by lizards, and be pulled apart by crocodiles alive.

“Please don’t.” They begged.

“Apologise.” He told them.

“I’m sorry.” Adam said.

“So am I.” Koi said.

Neither looked the other in the eye.

“Good.” Trevor laughed.

“Hey!” All five boys looked over to see tow hooded figures heading their way, one was large, one was small.

“Hi, Myrth.” Trevor said and started to meet him, “Long time no see.”

“It has been.” He said.

“Who’s this?” Trevor asked motioning to the small hooded figure hiding behind Myrth’s leg.

“This,” He said lifting the child up and cradling it in his arms, “Is my baby girl, Mist.”

He pulled down her hood to reveal blond hair red eyes.

“Hi, Mist.” Trevor grinned.

“Crysalys here?” Myrth asked.

Trevor shook his head, “She left this morning and said she’d be back for dinner.”

He nodded, “Almost that time isn’t is?” he asked.

Trevor nodded, “I don’t know where she is.”

“I might.” He said.

Trevor was about to ask when he heard the boys squeal. He turned around to see Crysalys tickling them on the grass.

“Mama!” They laughed and hugged her tight.

“I missed you two.” She said and hugged them tight.

Without warning she scooped both up and started over to Trevor and Myrth.

“And who is this fine young lady?” She asked closely inspecting Myrth’s daughter.

“Crysalys, this is Mist.” He said.

She whistled, “You’re gonna need to keep the boys away from this one.” She said.

He laughed, “And yours aren’t going to be a couple of ladies men?” He asked.

“They got their daddy’s looks.” She said and kissed each on the cheek.

“Look,” She said slightly awkwardly handing Adam to Trevor and adjusting Koi in her arms, “I heard about what happened to Autumn. I’m real sorry about it.”

Myrth shrugged, “Mist’s gonna grow up to be a black mage just like her mother. And I’m gonna make damn sure she knows she loves her.”

“You and Mist wanna stay for dinner and catch up?” She asked.

He smiled, “Sure.”

They went into their house and set the table. Crysalys had stew on the fire all day.

“So has the taking on apprentices worked for you?” Crysalys asked after she had served everyone and sat down.

“It’s going alright.” He said, “I had to reread a few books before I taught them anything though.”

“You forgot the basics then?” She asked.

“Think of it this way,”He offered, “You’re so used to just flicking your wrist and cracking your whip and having it do, whatever. Now you need to start from the beginning, how you learned.”

“Busting my lip open a couple of times before I learned to work it properly?” She asked and laughed.

“You did that?” Myrth asked.

“I thought you knew.” She laughed, “You were always close by reading a book or practising spells or something, I figured you heard.”

He shook his head, “It sounded to me like you we doing perfectly fine.”

She shook her head, “I think the difference is how each trade teaches.”

“What do you mean?” Trevor asked.

“Well,”She began, “Necromancy is mainly reading and discovering on your own right?”

Myrth nodded.

“Healing, you’re taught about it but you’re left on your own for training. Gunners, you’re trained through it all. Magary is mainly memorization and after you have that you’re set. Alchemists is literally a class. To be a warrior or guardian is the same physical work to be a brawler. Thiefs are on their own and need practise. I don’t really know what you need to do to become a ranger.”

“What about you beast masters?” Trevor asked.

“At the beginning you’re told you need to be able to do so many things, and then you’re on your own with the exception of weekly organized fights between training beast masters.” She explained.

“So it varies.” Myrth said.

“Where were you all day anyway?” Trevor asked.

Crysalys bit her lips together, and looked around the table trying not to smile.

“Koi, Adam.” She said, “How would you two feel to a new brother or sister?”

“I wanna a brother!” Adam yelled.

“You have a brother.” Koi hissed.

“A little one that wont beat me up all the time.” He said.

“I wouldn’t beat you up if you weren’t such a wimp.” He argued.

“Is there something you three wanna tell me?” Crysalys asked.

“No.” Koi and Adam answered together quickly.

She sighed and looked at Trevor.

“They were fighting again.” He said.

She looked back at her sons.

“You’re cleaning the dishes tonight.” She said.

They flinched. They prefered it when she’d actually give long speeches, and lectures, and send them to bed without supper. They wondered why was she so leisurely about it now?

“So you’re working on tree kids now, huh?” Myrth asked.

She couldn’t stop smiling now, but she nodded.

“A little girl, with eight older brothers.” She grinned.

He laughed, “You’re gonna die if you keep it up.”

“I am not.” She argued.

“Did you forget-

“I did not forget, Myrth.” Crysalys cut him off, “I had mama look over me and treat me. She said I was fine to have as many kids as I wanted to long as I waited in between each one.”

He sighed and slouched back in his seat.

“So, how’s running the town so far, Trevor?” Myrth asked trying to change the subject.

He shrugged, “I can’t give my father credit.” He said, “He always said it was a hard job, and he hardly had any time for the family. It’s pretty easy really.”

Trevor went into detail about how running the town actually works, Crysalys drifted off.

A Loud BANG was heard, and both Trevor and Crysalys fell to the ground. Crysalys had moved them so she’d take the bullet, and it worked. Trevor was holding where she was shot, she bit into his left shoulder to ease the pain. “Lilly.” Trevor begged. She came out of her shock and quickly got to work, Melody doing anything she could. “I will be right here.” Trevor whispered. “Leave the savage, Melody.” Joseph told her, “You men!” He yelled into the crowd, “Take them!” No one Budged. “I said, Take them now!” He ordered. “This war is over, Joseph.” Jub said stepping forward. He was the last person anyone would have thought to talk back to the head of the town, “That means Trevor is the head of the town now.” Trevor swallowed and held Crysalys’s hand. “Make sure the baby’s alright.” She whispered to her mother. “It’s still a fetus now, sweetheart.” She told her, “It’ll be okay as long as you are.” “Make sure it’s okay.” She repeated. Lilly understood. “Joseph!” Trevor barked, his father turned his attention to the young man partly covered in blood, “If she’s not alright after this, I will personally wring your neck.” “Attack them!” Joseph ordered. “Anyone who follows his orders will share the same fate as he will.” Trevor warned, “We don’t need to fight anyone anymore.” “He’s right.” Myrth said stepping forward, “We were all too stupid and too full of pride to admit all of us were wrong. If we did this sooner, non of this would hove happened.” Myrth went and knelt next to Trevor. “I got her.” He said, “You go take care of your town.” Trevor looked at him amazed. “What?” Myrth asked, “We’re at peace now right? Why shouldn’t I help you?” “Thank you.” He said and stood up. Myrth took his place holding her hand. “Guards, arrest him.” Trevor said pointing to Joseph. “You can’t do this to me.” He hissed. “On the contrary,” Trevor said, “I can. Joseph L. Honec, I hear by sentence you to be imprisoned in the dungeons you’re so found of until you’re last breath. And you better start praying that she’s going to be alright or I’ll change that to the death penalty of my gun.” “You can’t do this to me!” He yelled as he was dragged away, “I created this town! I created you! You’re nothing without me! Nothing!!” “Shut up.” Crysalys snapped. “Damn.” Myrth said, “I was really hoping he’d get death, too.” “Haha.” Crysalys said, her voice slightly raspy and parched, “Good to know you care, Myrth.” “I do.” He said, “I just really wanted to see that bastard die.” “She’s gonna be okay?” Trevor asked sitting next to him. Myrth nodded, “If she’s still got that tong on her, not a chance she isn’t.” “Thank God.” Trevor whispered.

“You done, ma?” Koi asked her.

She smiled, “Yeah.” And pushed her plate towards him so he could clean it.

“Did you two remember to feed our partners?” She asked.

They flinched. A while ago they said they really wanted an animal cub so in order to make sure that they could handle it, Crysalys had them taking care or Romona and Scar, poor silver died last year. He lived a long and happy life. They did a good job, so when Adam was two she presented them with wolf cubs. Their moth had died in labour, so she took two home to her boys. There was one catch with them, taking care of one of the animals meant taking car of all of them.

Crysalys would do what she’d normally do for her partners, but she left things like feeding, and fresh water to her boys, they needed responsibility.

“We’ll do it now.” They groaned.

“You two wanted to pups, you got them, and you know all the animals have to eat at the same time.” She almost scolded.

“Yes ma’am.” And they left to lean-too barn like shelter at the rear of the house to feed them.

Trevor, Crysalys, and Myrth talked about little things until both Koi and Adam bid good night and Mist fell asleep.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” Crysalys asked.

He nodded, “I just got us an apartment in the town.” He said cradling Mist, “Besides, if she’s not in her bed in the next hour or so she’s going to be cranking come morning.”

She smiled, “You’ve spoiled her rotten.”

He smiled, “Only thing I got to spoil.”

She nodded, “You both are welcome here any time, you know that right?”

He nodded, “I’ve been busy lately otherwise I’d of come sooner.”

“Take care, buddy.” She grinned.

“I’m sure if I’m in trouble you’d come to save me.” He grinned right back at her.

“Damn straight.” She answered.

The shared a side hug and Myrth and Trevor shook hands.

They watched him disappear into the darkness. Then they slipped back inside and up stairs.

“Do you ever miss hanging around all you’re friends and stuff?” Trevor asked.

Crysalys paused halfway through brushing her hair and shrugged before continuing.

“It seems to me you do.” He said as he undressed for sleep.

“Sometimes I miss it.” She admitted, “The freedom of running through the woods, Myrth and Colis at my heels, Sliver, Romona, and Scar next to me. Running no where in particular. It was nice. But I like this life more.”

“You do?” He asked.

She nodded as she pulled off her shirt and slipped on her night gown.

“Why?” He asked knowing he wasn’t going to get an answer unless he asked.

She shrugged as she pulled her pants off.

“Maybe ’cause I have an amazing husband, two beautiful boys with another on the way, two loving mothers, two little sisters. I know my friends are doing well. And I get to see them from time to time.” She started listing, “And best of all we aren’t fighting anymore. There isn’t a cold war going on between two sides. Our kids can grow up see everyone as an equal. Trevor, we did what we were born for. We brought peace back to the land just as the elders told me to do. And now we have boys to raise so they can change the world for better too.”

He brought her down to kiss him.

“I love you.” He said snuggling into her under the covers of their bed.

“I love you too.” She said and kissed him.

“I love you more.” He challenged.

She propped herself up on an elbow and stared down at him.

“Trevor, I love you, but don’t start that ‘I love you more’ shit with me.” She nearly hissed.

“That’s why I love you.” He said and kissed her.

And both of them had to laugh at themselves, the only reason why they were at where they were now was because of a chance meeting in the not too distant forest when it rained.