What should I do?

“It’s good to strive for someone.”

“You don’t need a man to be happy.”

“You have no idea what you’re missing if you don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Anyone who doesn’t like you is missing out on a once in a life time girl.”

I’ve heard all these my entire life. Never once had they ever really sunk in as anything other then passing comments.

Then one day at school I came across him. Three years older, taller, smarter, buffer. Hell he was like one of those male angels on earth even. Then I came across his personality.

He’s an asshole, he’s a jerk, he’s loud(I hate loud people), he seems like a player, and like every guy in high school he has a dirty mind.

He seemed to me like he had the physical appearance of everything a girl could want, but the personality from hell.

And yet, knowing that because he was older, I was younger, he was a jerk, I was shy, he was desirable, and I was cast aside because of how I look.

And I’ve never thought I’d ever like guys like that because of what they did to me in the past.

But for the longest time now I’ve been picturing our life together in the future. You know dating, moving in together, married life. . . . . . sorta.

He graduated, and I’ll be in tenth grade next year.

What I’m wondering from you guys is, should I move on and let whatever happen happen? Or should I continue to hold hope that he’s thinking about me too(Basically I just wanna try that poll thingy, but I need a good answer too, thanks)?