Growing up is a Bitch

I guess the term ‘people change’ is as true as day for me.

I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and possibly because of over hyping or way too many day dreams about my ‘dream’ career, I’ve realized that it’s not really for me.

I wanted badly to become a private investigator. I thought it would be cool; specializing in murders, maybe getting to travel all over the world to solve some when the police can’t and I made a name for myself, and I thought of writing about some of the murders as well(because, as most of you reading this probably know, I am a very good writer).

But recently I’ve liked the idea of being in Japan much more than I entertained in the past. There’s just something right now that’s kinda telling me to go there. And I looked a little into teaching English over there(I’ll let you know when I actually have an idea about that).

But before any of that even starts, there’s my post secondary. And the only way I can decide where I want to go or what I want to do is if I have an idea of the career I want. And I don’t want to spend a few years of my life and few more thousand dollars on something that isn’t going to make me happy in the end.

Tonight, when I realized all this, I went to bed thinking of what my strong suits are(I got out of bed to write this because the thoughts are still fresh and flowing). I’m very creative and, as mentioned earlier, a good writer. But I have a tendency to leave things unfinished, get bored with things, get distracted by other things, and just give up on others all together. I’ve been writing a book since I was in 8th grade, I’m going into 12th grade in September and I’m no closer to finishing it than I am to finishing the sequel.

But I’m artistic, and good with my hands. I sometimes cut up t-shirts to make tank tops if they don’t fit right or I don’t like how they look, I sometimes do the same with jeans but they’re a little more tricky for me. And I was thinking, maybe making cloths and selling them online, but I don’t know how to use hate using evil sewing machines.

I know where my passions lay though. I love history, ancient civilizations, wars, I love writing, it’s the entire reason I have this blog, and I want to see the world. I know there are people out there who actually get paid to travel the world and try new things and get to go everywhere with things paid for and get salary on top of that. And while I think it would be cool to have that as a career, how hard is it to get into that?

I’m always so sure of myself until I can’t be sure of anything anymore. And I know that’s a flaw, along with thinking things are unattainable, but somethings can be.

I think I just need to think about this a little more on my own. If any of you reading have any suggestions for what I should do, please leave me a comment. I’d like to know, inspiration can come from anywhere you know.