What If It Were Real?(Part 26)

Mykhayla’s pov.

Layers of purple under orange and white petals with a red sun and dark blue silhouette of surfers, all surrounded by curved leaves of a million different shades of green that made me want to be sick.

I was instantly pulled away from that by Torri.

“That wasn’t what I was talking about when I said look at the view.” Torri growled at me, pulling me out from behind Killer.

I blinked and looked from her to the God awful Hawaiian shirt Killer was warring.

“Ohh!” I blinked again, “This is much better!”

I felt the brunette on my one side twitch, and blonde on my other side shift uncomfortably.

The actual view, not just the forced one I made up, was a clear blue sky over top of a bright orange sea.

“It’s so pretty!” I beamed, “But I hate the water so much.”

“It’s orange juice.” Torri told me, “We’ve just entered the Totto land archipelago.”

“Orange juice?!” I asked, “Oh, hell yeah! Let’s go for a swim!”

“You’re a devil fruit eater.” Killer cut in.

“Doesn’t that only count for water?” I asked him, “This is orange juice we’re talking about here.”

“Devil fruit users are weakened by any form of liquid, sea water, fresh water, juice, milk, anything. If a devil fruit user is submerged up to a certain point in any liquid, sea water or otherwise they will lose power and drown.” Torri explained, “Aside from that, that’s a sticky mess waiting to happen.”

I sighed, “Fine! No swimming.”

“You don’t even like swimming” Torri accused.

“That’s true. I really don’t.” I shrugged, “Scratch that off the bucket list.”

“Since when the hell am I in charge of your bucket list?” She demanded.

“To be honest, I’m pretty sure I don’t even have one.”

“Then why bring it up?” Killer asked.

“It’s an expression.” I dead panned.

“With you I never know.” He shrugged.

“And I heard you were a lady-killer, and now I know why.” I retorted.

Killer just stared at me for a moment before turning and leaving Torri and I alone.


Torri’s pov.

I shook my head for the millionth time to try to stop my vision from blurring again.

Everyone was feeling bad, and I was under orders from the doctor to make something easy on the stomach to help them all out. It didn’t help though that I was feeling like shit.
I felt really bad though, they all seemed to be feeling ill after eating that soup I made the other day. I guess some of the ingredients I used were bad.

“Damn.” I cursed as I clutched the edge of the counter. My head was spinning and I wasn’t sure if I could keep myself up right any longer.

I was nearly thrown off my feet when the ship lurched violently. I clutched the counter in an attempt to keep myself up.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled to myself as I stumbled out of the kitchen and towards the door leading out to the deck.

The ship lurched again, causing me to fly face first into the wall.

When I get my hands on whoever is responsible for this. I growled in my head.

I managed to throw the door opened and stepped out onto the deck. A war zone was occurring before me.

Kidd was trying his best to fend off underlings, Killer was haphazardly slashing at anything that got too close, Heat was trying to set the enemies on fire, yet about a dozen of our crew men were nothing more than charred bodies on the deck, Wire was doing his best. The only thing I was thankful for was the fact that Mykhayla wasn’t on deck in all this carnage.

I winced and pulled out my scythe spinning around to keep enemies around me at bay. I had about fifteen seconds to take in the situation in its entirety before I started to slow down.

People dressed in chess piece costumes? They were fighting. There were other people who were dressed, I wanted to say strangely but seeing as who my captain was I couldn’t really say anything about it. Then there was this giant guy clad in what looked to be biscuits? He was really wrecking shit.

I dropped my scythe from above my head and brought it to my waist, spinning myself in the process to get the chess pieces heads off. They were taken care of.

The rest of my crew was in danger though. I sprinted forward and took out the three at Killer’s back. I then turned and used the handle of my scythe to knock out the guy that was about to take my captain from his unguarded side.

I flicked the blade of my scythe to deflect a couple of bullets that were aimed at me. With that done I took out a throwing knife and sent it at an enemy that was aiming at Wire. He went down in a crumpled heap.

I then turned my attention to the giant biscuit armor guy. I figured, even in my hazy mind, he was the leader. If I could take care of him then the rest should be a breeze.
I took out another throwing knife and sent it flying at the guy’s eye. At the same time I charged for his leg to bring him down a size.

He deflected the knife easily enough, but was caught slightly by surprise when his leg gave out under him. I readied my scythe to cut upwards to take him out, but was stopped dead in my tracks.

Something flashed just before my eyes, pictures, places, names. I couldn’t quite place it.
The next thing I knew pain was coursing through my left eye and I was screaming in pain, backing away from the sword covered in blood that was before me.

I heard an annoying laugh come from before me, but I couldn’t open up my right eye to look.

“You almost had me there, girl!” It squeaked, “Why did you stop, I wonder?”

I fell to a knee and forced my right eye open, still clutching the bleeding wound that was the left side of my face.

I growled up at the cracker warrior. Something else in my mind flashed, but I couldn’t place it either.

Suddenly his face dropped as he stared down at me.

“Let’s go!” He called to his subordinates.

“But, Cracker-sama-” One of his underlings called out only to be cut off.

“I said we’re going now!” He barked again, “These pitiful rookies wont last long in their condition. You too, Zane. Mama will be proud of you.”

Zane! I looked over to where the little rat strode forward towards the Sweet Commander.

“You!” I managed out.

He paused and smirked at me, “Me!” He sang.

“I bet you didn’t see this one coming, witch!” He laughed as he made his way to the railing, “I can’t believe Eustass was even stupid enough to think you would be in any way useful. That’s all just a bunch of bullshit.”

He hopped up onto the railing as the Yonko’s crew prepared to sail off.

“It’s good to see you all groveling to me for once! You are all pathetic! Thinking you’re better than everyone! Thinking you can run the world all because you got a dream! You damn idiots! Do you have any idea what Mama has-”

He was cut off by a drowning gurgle. He looked down only to see a throwing knife, buried up to its hilt in his throat.

He looked back up and stared at me. My right arm still outstretched following through with my throw.

“Has anyone ever told you,” I panted, “You talk too much.”

Without another sound he fell backwards, off the ship. The splash of his body hitting the water was the only thing that followed.

Cracker looked at the ocean and then back at me.

“Move out!” He called to his crew just before his ship set sail away from us.

“Get the hell out of our territory or die already!” He called back.

I waited until they were a safe distance away before I allowed myself the luxury of falling over, unconscious.

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What If It Were Real?(Part 17)

“And when I demand to know what you’ve seen, I expect an answer!” Kidd all but yelled at me.

“Keep talking like that I’m never telling you anything again!” I threatened.

“I am your captain!” He howled.

“And I’m going to be the reason why you become the king of the pirates!” I shouted back, “So back off!”

“Torri!” Mykhayla cheered as she came skipping over to us, “You’ll never guess who I ran into again today!”

All of a sudden I heard Mykhayla’s voice, but her mouth wasn’t moving at all.

“It was the man in the fluffy hat! He bought me ice cream and walked me back to the ship! He was so nice.”

“What the fuck just happened!?” Kidd yelled, “Since when are you taller than me!? And, holy shit! Why’s my body over there!?”

Mykhayla pointed at Kidd. She looked non to pleased.

“What are you talking about?” I asked the blonde.

“I’m fucking, Eustass “Captain” Kidd, witch!” The blonde yelled at me, “I’m not your little blonde friend!”

“Woah man! That was weird!”

I looked over at the body of my captain.

“Mykhayla?” I asked looking at the red head.

“Yes?” She asked. Kidd’s face turned into a sweet smile, which honestly scared me more than Kidd’s usual scowl.

“Can you describe what the man in the fluffy hat who bought you ice cream looked like?” I asked her.

“He was, tallish and had a fluffy hat. Oh! And he had this fluffy polar bear who could talk! It was so cute.” She fan girled, “And we talked ice cream. It was so much fun.”

“Killer!” I called out.

The blonde poked his head over the railing to look down at me.

“Can you please call the crew together!”

“Sure!” He called back.

“Why are you calling MY crew together, witch!?” Kidd growled.

“Because currently, you are unable to.” I told him, “Follow me, both of you. I know who that man is.”


“So,” I started as I addressed the crew, “Apparently we got a small visit from Trafalgar Law. He switched, either intentionally or unintentionally, I don’t know which, Captain with Mykhayla. So presently our fiery, foul mouthed, aggressive captain is in a small, blue eyed body. And my sweet, sweet friend Mykhayla is, in captain’s body. And the only way to change them back, is to hunt down Trafalgar and get him to change them back. So, I vote, for the time being, Killer take over as captain, just until we can sort this out.”

“I’m not dying!” Kidd yelled at me, “I can still command my crew!”

“Yes,” I started, “Yes you can. But will anyone take you seriously in that body?”

“I fucking hate you!” He growled.

“Hey! My body is gorgeous!” Mykhayla told Kidd, “It’s your body that’s weird.”

“Excuse me!” He yelled, “Unlike you, my body has been meticulously trained to be strong enough to handle rough seas and strong opponents. You on the other hand, have done nothing with your soft body to strengthen it!”

“It doesn’t need to be strong to be fabulous.” Mykhayla came back, “You underestimate the petite figure. And how do you know I haven’t done anything with it?”

“I’m in your body now! And it’s nowhere near as strong or amazing as mine is!” Kidd howled.

“Well I can say that your body it too huge to get anywhere fast!” She bit back.

“And your too small and girly to make a lasting impression!” He hissed.

“Well you’re too flamboyant!” She bit back, “A pirate with all these accessories is not practical!”

“Please, what I wear is ten times better than you and your stupid jeans and hoodies!” Kidd accused.

“Well excuse me!” She started, “It’s suited for every type of weather. Were as your coat is only suited for one. This coat is heavy, and if it gets wet you’re not moving anywhere at all!”

“Don’t mock my style!”

“I’m sorry, but how many other pirates wear lipstick.” She started, “Aside from that, you spend more time in the morning doing your hair than I do! And to top it off, you’re so obsessed with your looks that you even go as far as to paint your nails. What do you think that that completes your ‘no shirt’ look?”

Kidd ground his teeth and growled, “Do not mock me wench.”

“Please, honey.” She retorted, “You’re style, if that’s even what you want to call it, does that for you.”

Kidd let out a giant scream and pulled at the blonde locks atop his head.

“Hey, just because I don’t spend as much time on it doesn’t mean I don’t care about it.” Mykhayla called Kidd out.

Kidd screamed again and stormed away, grumbling to himself.

“Well, this could be fun.” I said, looking over at Killer.

“Fun or horrible.” He told me, “What do you think we should do now?”

“Have some of the men look for Trafalgar. I’ll keep an eye on Mykhayla in Kidd’s body. You keep an eye on Kidd in Mykhayla’s body. Who know’s what they’ll do if we leave them alone.” I told him.

“Got it.” he nodded.

“Torri, can we please go shopping?” Mykhayla asked me, “If I’m stuck in this body, I want something I can actually wear.”

I rolled my eyes, “Alright.”


“What the hell is this!” Kidd screeched as he looked at Mykhayla in his body.

The red head was standing before his soul in a white dress shirt with the sleeves folded up, a yellow vest, black dress pants, nice dress shoes,  his red hair was slicked back out of his eyes. His signature goggles were hanging around his neck, and his belt that was usually across his chest was now around his waist like an actual belt, but it still had the pistol and dagger in it. Draped over his shoulders was a black suit jacket that was a couple of sizes too big for him.

“Classy, ain’t it?” Mykhayla giggled.

“You’re ruining my image!” He shouted.

“I’m just cleaning it up for you.” She told him.

Kidd ground his teeth again, before stopping, “Two can play at this game, wench.”

“Eustass!” I yelled to the man as he was retreating in the blonde’s body, “If she comes back with a tattoo, your head will be mine.”

He gave me a devilish grin, “I wasn’t even planning on it.”

And with that he left.

“I thought you said we were going to keep an eye on them.” Killer hissed from behind me.

I turned around and looked up at the blonde, “I did.” I told him, “This isn’t bad. If you want I could have our captain’s body all dolled up in a cocktail dress and evening make up.”

He seemed to wince at that idea.

“I’ll pass.” He told me.

“Then don’t complain.”


“What the fuck did you do to her!?” I exclaimed as I came out of the kitchen and layed eyes on the blonde I had come to call my friend.

Mykhayla’s body was standing in the mess hall in high heels, a denim mini skirt, a bright pink tube top with a black leather vest over top, her blue eyes were painted with black eye make up and her lips were lined with bright red lipstick.

“I’m just improving on her look.” Kidd teased.

“Excuse me!” Mykhayla said as she entered the room, “You have done nothing but lower expectations. What God awful things have you been doing?” She demanded.

“You ruin my look, I’ll ruin yours.” He smirked at her.

“Fine,” She said and crossed her arms, “If we are going to deal such low blows until this is sorted out, I’m changing the nail polish colour.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He snarled.

“Continue wearing that tube top and I will.” She challenge.

“Fine.” He snarled and stormed out of the mess hall.

I looked over to the door and saw Killer and Wire standing there staring.

“I thought you were supposed to be watching him.” I mocked Killer.

“I didn’t think it would be that bad, okay!” He defended.

I rolled my eyes, “Do we have anything on Trafalgar yet?”

“We know where his ship is.” He started, “But I don’t think anyone can get close enough without his crew noticing.”

I looked out the window to see the sun starting to set on the day and sighed. “Take me there tomorrow. I’ll talk to him.”

“No you wont!” Killer snarled.

I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him.

“I’m not letting you go there alone.” He corrected and approached me, “Did you forget that he kidnapped you at one point?”

“No, I didn’t forget.” I told him, “But we can’t just have Kidd and Mykhayla switched forever.”

“I just don’t want to lose you again.” He told me.

“You won’t.” I assured, “But it’s either that or- You have got to be kidding me!”

“What?” Kidd smirked as he came back in the room. This time instead of wearing a tube top he had on a t-shirt crop top.

“Good enough.” Mykhayla sighed, “You saved your nail polish.”

I sighed and walked back into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. This had been a long day.

What If It Were Real?(Part 16)

I stared at my face in the paper, the article had said that I crashed a very important wedding between a high ranking marine officer and a princess of an undisclosed location. The officer that reported it was the same one whose throat I slit at the altar. I knew I should have stabbed him as well, just for good measure. But I couldn’t complain, my bounty was up another 25 million belli from its last raise. I was slowly making my way up in the world at 50 million belli.

I put the paper back on the stand and looked at the poster that was behind the table showing new issues of various magazines, there was one that had a picture of a pepper on it. It said this was an ultra super food. One that could enhance the taste of any food that it is put in and has many health benefits.

“May I help you, young lady?” The old man at the stand asked me as I was staring at the poster.

“What’s that pepper there?” I asked, pointing to the poster.

“Ah, are you a cook?” He asked me.

I nodded.

“Well, that, young lady, is the Sherry Cola Mountain pepper. It’s said to be the best super food this world has to offer.” He told me.

“Were can I buy it?” I asked him.

“Oh, dear, there is no vendor who sells it.” He told me.

“Then where can I get it?” I asked him.

“They say it grows deep in the mountains on this island, in a place where the sun always shines even when it’s dark. With leaves so large they can be used as umbrellas.” He told me, “But, if you are able to get it then it will be sold for quite a high price. Although, if you don’t want to sell it and want to cook it for yourself, I would suggest leaving it in the freezer for at least 48 hours to help mellow out the flavor that it has. But that is an old man’s suggestion.”

“Mister, how much for that poster?” I asked.


“Woah, how do we get it?” Heat asked as he, and the rest of the crew, gazed on in awe at the poster of the Sherry Cola Mountain pepper.

“Supposedly it grows in a place where there is light all the time, even when the sun isn’t out.” I told them, “And if we find it, I’ll make something extra delicious for you guys.”

Everyone cheered, saying how they would scour the entire island looking for them if need be.

I smiled as they made preparations to go out into the harsh climate and made my way to the upper deck where I knew Killer, Kidd and Mykhayla would be.

“Hey.” I said as I approached.

“Hey.” Killer greeted back.

Kidd just grunted at me.

“Torri!” Mykhayla sang from behind Kidd’s chair, “I saved you the walnuts!”

“Oh, thank you.” I said and walked over to grab one from her.

“So, what did you just tell the crew?” Kidd demanded as I cracked the nut open.

“When I was in town earlier I found out about this super food pepper called the Sherry Cola Mountain pepper. It only grows on the mountain of this island where there’s light all day. But it’s supposed to be the best tasting thing you’ve ever eaten, and it’s supposed to have a lot of health benefits. So, I told the crew about it and they agreed on helping me look for it. And when we find it, I’ll make an amazing dinner out of it.” I told him with a smile, as I popped part of the shelled walnut into my mouth.

“I’m not helping you.” Kidd said not even looking at me, “If anyone else wants to help you that’s their prerogative.”

“I’ll help out.” Killer offered.

“Me too!” Mykhayla said and jumped up from behind Kidd’s chair and faced me, “I want to taste it in your cooking!”

I smiled, “Great, by the sounds of it we’re leaving at first light tomorrow to try to find it. First one to find it, gets the first helping.”


By dawn that morning I was climbing the mountain with Killer and another crew member named Zane. The search for the Sherry Cola Mountain pepper was on, and I was determined to find it.


Mykhayla’s pov.

I followed my nose to a small restaurant on the edge of town. The aroma of garlic and melting cheese wafted out at me, enticing me to go in.

“Table for 1 please!” I said as I entered.

A waitress with a kind face seated me in a table in the corner. I looked over the menu, so many pasta dishes!


Torri’s pov.

“Is everyone okay?” I asked as I sat up. We just slid down a very steep hill, after hitting just about every rock, stick, root and everything with a thorn on it on the way down.

“Fine.” Zane said shooting up, holding his head.

“I’ll live.” Killer said and stumbled to his feet.

I pushed myself up and dusted myself off, “Let’s keep going then.”


Mykhayla’s pov.

I licked my lips as I finished of the giant plate of cannelloni. It was absolutely delicious. I wanted to bring Torri here, and maybe Killer, and Wire, and definitely Heat.

“Would you like anything else, sweetheart?” The waitress who sat me asked.

“No, I’m good.” I told her with a smile.

“Alright, I’ll be right back with the check.” She told me.

Realization dawned on me and I furiously searched my pockets for money to pay for this. I didn’t have anything.

She came back with the check.

“Um, actually,” I said to her, “My friend is sitting over there, he said that he would pay for me.”

She looked over at where I was pointing and I used it as an oppertunity to run out the door. But I was stopped when I collided with something at the door.

I looked up to see a giant polar bear standing in the doorway. I glanced behind the white puff ball to see a familiar fluffy hat.


Torri’s pov.

I used a flashlight that I had in my backpack to illuminate the cave we were entering.

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” Zane asked me.

“Yes.” I called back to him, “I talked to a man who would go up to these mountains all the time to try to find them. He said they were in the caves here.”

“Torri, I know you want this, but we’ve taken a lot of damage just getting here.” Killer called up to me, “Have you even thought about how we’re going to get back?”

“Presently, that’s not our objective.” I told him.

I winced backwards, partially blinded by light coming from ahead in the tunnel.

“We’re here.” I said and shielded my eyes.


Mykhayla’s pov.

“Fluffy hat!” I exclaimed pointing at the man I knew I’ve seen before.

“I know you, don’t I?” He asked me.

“I think so.” I told him, “You look familiar to me. But right now I can’t talk. I need to leave, you see I ordered food here not realizing that I didn’t have any money. And now I need to, like, dine and dash. And I feel really bad about it because the waitress was great and the food was absolutely amazing. But I don’t know what to do now. Oh, and I really like your hat. It’s nice and fluffly and-”

I was cut off by Mr. Fluffy hat putting a hand over my mouth.

“I’ll pay for your food.” He told me, “But in return you need to shut up.”

“Okay!” I cheered, “And thank you, you see…”


Torri’s pov.

“Here they are.” I said as I walked forward.

The cavern was alight with flowers that produced their own sunlight. The peppers were a deep red, cherry colour with swirls of dark brown across their skins. They grew on dark green vines with leaves so large I could stand underneath one with my arms outstretched and still be covered by it.

“Man, we’re rich!” Zane exclaimed as he ran to the nearest vine to pick all the peppers on it.

“Stop!” I ordered him. Zane stopped in his tracks and stared at me.

“Only take what we need.” I ordered him.

“What are you talking about!?” He all but yelled at me, “We’re standing in a goldmine. And you don’t want me to take everything.”

“I will kill you where you stand if you disobey me.” I growled at him.

“Why wouldn’t we want to take more?” He asked with a huff.

“It’ll disrupt the natural balance of things.” I told him, “And small peppers are out of the equation too. If they’re small it means that they’re new and we don’t want those.”

“Fine.” Zane grumbled.


Mykhayla’s pov.

“You know you guys are really good listeners.” I told them as we were all walking through town, “I should hang out with you guys more often. Everyone on my crew never takes the time to listen to me and make me feel appreciated, except for Torri. She’s great. Speak of the devil, Torri!”

The said brunette turned at the sound of her name. She was there with Killer and another under crewman. They all looked beaten up, dirty, exhausted, and covered in scrapes and bruises.

“Hey.” She said tiredly, “Weren’t you in Heat’s group? Are they back yet?”

“Well you see, I got separated in town from them and wound up having lunch with this man in a fluffy hat. And then we went around the village just hanging out. He and his crew were very attentive and great listeners.” I told her, “Oh, and there’s this great italian restaurant that I want to take you to.”

She just nodded, “Let’s go home first.”

“Okay!” I said walked with them back to the ship.